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A shady-looking guy sticks his head into a barbershop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?"
The barber looks around the shop and says, "About two hours." The guy smiles and leaves.
The barber looks...
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Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog, Skipper, had recently died.
"You know," Mom said, "it's not so bad. Skipper's pr...
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A woman went to her priest with a problem. "Father, I have two female parrots, and they only know how to say one thing. All they ever say is, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Wanna have some fun?' "
"That's terrible!" exclaimed the priest. "But I think I can help. Bring your two female parrots over to my house, and I will put them with my two male parrots whom I taught to pray and read the Bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase, and your fema...
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A jock and a geek applying for the same job.
The boss said, "Boys, you need to take a test before you can get this job."
So they took the test and the next day they came back to see who the boss chose. "Well," he said, "Both of you got the same score except I'm going to choose the geek."
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A yuppie was opening the door of his BMW when a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the yuppie complained bitterly about the damage to his car.
"Officer, look what they've done to my Beemer!"
"You yuppies are...
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A man walks into the New York City bank and asks for the loan officer. He tells the Loan Officer that he was going away for business for 2 weeks and needs to
borrow $5,000. The Loan Officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan. So the man hands over the keys and the documents of the new Ferrari car parked on the street in front of the bank. The loan officer consults the president of the bank, produces all the required items and everything check out to be OK. The loan officer agrees to accept the car as a security for the loan. The bank president and the Loan Officer had a good laugh at the guy, For keeping a $750,000 Ferrari as a security and tak...
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