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 by xdaminis on 14 Nov 2012
Once the old Farmer Tom was dying. The family was standing around his bed.

With a low voice he said to his wife, "When I'm dead, I want you to marry farmer Jones."

 by xdaminis on 14 Nov 2012
I ran into Mike at work yesterday. He had been out for a few days with the flu. I asked him how he was feeling.

"I'm better, thanks. You know, it was a wonderful experience," he replied.

"Wonderful? How can the flu be wonderful?" I asked in stu...
 by xdaminis on 14 Nov 2012
Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day.

"My name is Billy. What's yours?" asked the first boy.

"Tommy," replied the second.

"My Da...
 by xdaminis on 08 Nov 2011
A shady-looking guy sticks his head into a barbershop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?"

The barber looks around the shop and says, "About two hours." The guy smiles and leaves.

The barber looks...
 by xdaminis on 08 Nov 2011
Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog, Skipper, had recently died.

"You know," Mom said, "it's not so bad. Skipper's pr...
 by xdaminis on 08 Nov 2011
A woman went to her priest with a problem. "Father, I have two female parrots, and they only know how to say one thing. All they ever say is, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Wanna have some fun?' "
"That's terrible!" exclaimed the priest. "But I think I can help. Bring your two female parrots over to my house, and I will put them with my two male parrots whom I taught to pray and read the Bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase, and your fema...
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